Saddam Deserves Another Chance, the U.N. Has Our Best Interests at Heart, and the Check's in the Mail!

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Reprinted from NewsMax.com

Tom Marsland
Thursday, Nov. 21, 2002

Many on the left seemingly believe the U.N. "wiser than we." Well, I think we ought to listen to the U.N. and take an honest second look at this largely misunderstood statesman of the world and the U.N. that wants to believe he'll do the right thing.

I at first thought Saddam was your typical run-of-the-mill, murderous "Butcher of Baghdad" type pond-scum monster. But lately I've been reading the U.N. Security Council minutes and I now believe we should extend him another chance.

I'd like to convince you to trust Saddam, not on his own merits, but because the U.N. does. Instead of talking about the no doubt, largely-misunderstood Hussein, I'd prefer demonstrating the benevolent and pristine nature of the United Nations. This way you may blindly place all your trust and hope in their assessments.

The following list highlights our beloved United Nations' fundamental goals and values, as endorsed by that international merrymaker himself, U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan.

  1. Disarmament: We'll register our guns with the U.N. and they'll eventually ban small arms.
  2. Elections: They'll tell us how to run them ... hey, look at how great it's gone in Iraq and China!
  3. Children: They'll tell us how to raise them, what to believe, what to learn and how to serve them.
  4. Climate Change: They'll tell us that man is bad for the environment and must yield to nature.
  5. Decolonization: Big bad countries like us (U.S.) will have to quit colonizing little countries like?
  6. Demining: Our coal, uranium, copper, gold and diamonds will have to stay with Mother Nature.
  7. Education: Our children's diverse U.N. multicultural education will better them as world citizens!
  8. Environment: Our mother, the Earth, is weeping due to our material excess and human progress.
  9. Family: Forget Adam and Eve. Wheel out Adam and Steve ... and Chelsea and Fido ... and ...?
  10. Food: Vegetarianism and Vegans, of course ... you meat-eating swine!
  11. Habitat: For ducks, geese, baby sea otters, turtles and snail darters ... oy vey, I'm farklempt.
  12. Human Rights: In with Syria, China, Bulgaria, Russia and Saudi Arabia ... out with America!
  13. Indigenous People: They are peaceful children of the Forest Goddess ... leave them be!
  14. International Finance: We greedy, evil Americans owe everybody debt relief, and a living.
  15. International Law: We're always wrong, everyone else is always right.
  16. Question of Palestine: Power to the oppressed! Crush the Zionist pigs, man!
  17. Peace & Security: When you hear "peace and security," then you'll know the end is near!
  18. Population: Too many mouths to feed, too few abortions.
  19. Sustainable Development: Hey, man, you got one hectare and a mule, what more do you want?
  20. Terrorism: Capitalist pigs travel a lot, something's not right about that, just not sure why not?
  21. Volunteerism: You vill volunteer, und you vill like it, comrade!
  22. Women: Equal to, but also superior to, male pigs ... somehow, anyway?
  23. Youth: We'll get to yours ... one way or another!

[Editor's Note: For the complete U.N. agenda, click here.

Now you see what I mean? I can't believe how enlightened the U.N. has turned out to be. Frankly, I wouldn't have thought of kicking the U.S. off the Human Rights Commission for the first time since the founding of the world body, in favor of nation-states that are virtual chambers of horror for their oppressed citizenry.

Joanna Wechsler (trust me, no friend to America) is the U.N.'s very own "Representative of Human Rights Watch." She recently characterized its newly appointed members: "This is a rogues' gallery of human rights abusers."

She then unveiled their colorful records: Sudan, Uganda, Sierra Leone and Togo, all excessively abusive regimes. They joined other recent inductees Syria, Algeria, Libya, Saudi Arabia and Vietnam. All countries with human rights records that would make Satan blush.

Now let's check out the U.N. Security Council, which certainly has America's best interests at heart. Currently, the rotating presidency is firmly entrusted to that bulwark of human rights, the People's Republic of China. They, with the Syrian Arab Republic, Russian Federation, Bulgaria, Colombia and others, are in charge of our world's future. I don't mind saying, "I'm feeling pretty darned good about that."

But I digress. Back to Saddam. One key element of the training regimen for U.N. Weapons Inspector teams being sent to Saddam's "Mother of all Muslim paradises": Political correctness classes and lessons in how "not to offend" your Iraqi hosts ... really ... NO, REALLY!

Yep ... Saddam's swell, the U.N.'s our hope and the check's in the mail ... oh, by the way, the term "U.N." really stands for "Undermining Nationalism."

Tom Marsland is heard 4-6 p.m. CST on the nationwide Salem Radio Network's AM 980 KKMS in Minneapolis, Minn. A noted speaker, Tom writes cultural, political and religious commentary for NewsMax, Assist News Service, Minnesota Christian Chronicle, Christian News Today and others.

E-mail Tom at tom@kkms.com

Read more on this subject in related Hot Topics:
Saddam Hussein/Iraq
United Nations

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